Saturday, February 9, 2013

Little, sweet, Eliot...or a Behavior Problem in the Making?

A couple of weeks ago I took my 2 year old daughter out to dinner because the thought of cooking was just too much on that particular Friday evening.  Not to mention my sink was full of dishes and in order to cook I had at least an hours worth of work and preparation ahead of me.  Anyway, the waitress sat us down and my back was to a couple that continually spoke of their son, Eliot.  The way they were speaking, it seemed as if Eliot wasn't there except that I kept hearing the waitress refer to him.
So our dinner progressed as any does with a two year old, spilled milk, whining, shushing, reminders to sit and not poke the woman sitting behind her, answering the question why? until I might actually go crazy, and clearly, not one bite of my dinner taken while it was hot.  However, among all the on-goings  I couldn't help being totally distracted about the way the couple behind me spoke of their son, as a third party that wasn't involved in their dinner.  To my relief, the bill came and it was time to go home.
When I stood up, I was speaking to my daughter about going home and going to bed, who at this point was becoming tired and a bit unruly and Eliot's mother said endearingly, "You speak to your daughter the way I speak to little Eliot."  I smiled and nodded not really making eye contact because I was trying to wrangle a bull, I mean put her coat and hat on.  However, when I did finally stand up straight to continue the conversation I was stopped dead in my tracks noticing "little" Eliot.  A very big boy, at least three in a high chair with an Ipad propped in front of him, movie playing, head phones on and candy cane in hand.  I tried not to look shocked and disgusted, which is difficult since my facial expressions always give away my thoughts.  I quickly composed myself and managed a friendly giggle and smile.  My little one also noticed the movie and tried to look at what little Eliot was watching when he let out a scream and covered his Ipad with both hands, and shot my little one a dirty look.  I had no words as my daughter looked at me for an answer for this behavior.
The Ipad, an acceptable pacifier for toddlers and school aged kids??  I mean when is enough, enough?  How much is Eliot missing from engaging in dialogue with his parents and his surroundings?  How much do parents use technology to entertain their kids so they don't have to put up with them?  Technology needs to be used with ground rules and responsibility on the parts of parents and teachers alike.
Good thing the Common Core has so much focused on speaking and listening!

6 comments:

  1. I loved reading this, it reminded me of your kitchen story you wrote our first class. Thanks for sharing :)

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  2. I could so picture your disgusted face as I read this! It is also so true, our primary students come to us with very little oral language skills, but they all know how to use an iPhone.

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  3. Karen, I have experienced the same thing in restaurants--kids on their gadgets, and sometimes even their parents texting. This kind of behavior reminds us how disconnected we are becoming. It strikes me as fine to play with gadgets in one's own home, though I appreciate family conversations far more. But the public display of these devices and lack of real human interaction are disturbing. Now don't get me on to people texting and talking on their phones while driving or even walking the streets. Maybe, you heard of the woman who fell off a dock into the water while texting, or the one who fell into a fountain. That's not to mention the tragic car accident upstate NY when 4 teens were killed when the one driving was texting on the phone. Altogether, where are we heading? Looking forward to other comments on this post.

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    1. I am absolutely not offended, but wanted to let you know I'm Kelly.

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  4. Hi Karen, I'm an on-campus student at USJ enrolled in EDUC 584, and I couldn't agree more with your sentiments! Don't get me wrong, I am a big fan of all things Apple and see great promise in using digital applications to bolster and extend learning. Many of our littlest guys can navigate these devices better than I can (it's very telling when they try to "swipe" into a picture book..)! We live in a tech-induced society, so I think it's inevitable that kiddos will utilize these devices. BUT, there's a time and a place...21st century skills (the ones we teachers continue to belabor on)include far more than navigating an iPad interface, try communication, collaboration, negotiation, and flexibility! You brought up some good food for thought!

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  5. KELLY- I agree with this post to the nth degree! While I do use iPads to teach, it in no way replaces real interaction. I would never ever allow my kids to sit in a restaurant and play on their iPods. The point of going out to dinner (other than because I am too dang tired to cook/ clean) is to interact and share a meal. I do allow my kids to take their iPods to a doctors appointment (rather than touch the toys, uch!) or on a long car trip. But a lot of the time that they have them they are are telling me abut whatever they are doing or seeing. And if they aren't, I am asking. As with all learning, parents should be engaging their kids in discussion about it. And it concerns me even more that they were talking about their kid as if he wasn't even there!

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